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Friday, October 25, 2013
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This work by ပန္ဒိုရာ is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Singapore License.
ဤဘေလာ့ဂ္မွ ပန္ဒိုရာ ဖန္တီးေသာ လက္ရာမ်ားကို ပန္ဒိုရာအမည္ သို႕မဟုတ္ ဘေလာ့ဂ္ လင့္ခ္ကို ေဖာ္ျပၿပီး လြတ္လပ္စြာ ကူးယူ ျဖန္႕ေ၀ ျပန္လည္ေဖာ္ျပႏိုင္ပါသည္။ စီးပြားေရးဆန္ေသာ လုပ္ငန္းမ်ားတြင္ အသံုးျပဳလိုပါက ႀကိဳတင္ ခြင္႕ေတာင္းပါရန္ ေမတၱာရပ္ခံပါသည္။
လာလည္သူမ်ား
10 comments:
you choose life or.. life choose you. Whatever it is, we all need to try to content our life in a way we were shaped. I think, people actually don't need these glorious reasons to have a kid. Mother nature simply make us ( women) wanting kids.. or having kids. Embrace nature without counting reasons.
At least, you are going to be arrested in LIFE. Kiss you Life. :)
ဖတ္မိသြားၿပီ...မပန္။ ဇြန္ စာေမးပြဲၿပီးရင္ေရးဖုိ႔ စာရင္းထဲ တုိ႔ထားလုိက္မယ္ေနာ္။ အိမ္ေထာင္သည္မဟုတ္ေပမယ့္ ကုိယ္တုိင္က မိန္းမသားတစ္ေယာက္ျဖစ္ေနေတာ့ ဒီအေၾကာင္းရာမ်ိဳးအေပၚ ထားရွိခဲ့ဖူးတဲ့စိတ္ခံစားခ်က္နဲ႔ ေရးၾကည့္ခ်င္တယ္။
Thanks so much Ma K. :)
ဇြန္ုမိုးစက္ ေရးပါေနာ္။ ေက်းဇူးပါ။ :)
I would like to respond to your 10 Reasons for wanting a kid even though I am not a blogger. This topic is very personal and is relating to women’s rights. The topic has come up recently, and many women involving in the discussion were very opinionated about why they would rather have a child of their own or why they would not. We, as women, are always criticized for not having enough of something: too skinny, too fat, too ugly, too sexy, too short, too tall, too dark, too pale, too ambitious, too lazy, having kids, not having kids, too rich, too poor and etc. When it comes to a woman, our society has created the way it wants to see in her: getting married at right time, having kids, and building a successful family. Our society will find a way to criticize us no matter what path of our lives we choose. In my opinion, as long as we respect each other’s decisions, we should never have a debate or an argument over this topic.
Some women are simply busy with their lives. Nowadays, many young women choose to stay as a single and want to pursue their carrier first before they start their own family. Some even wait until their 40s’ to start their family. It is their choice, and we have to learn how to respect their decisions. It is needless to say that women who are driven by their own ambitions are less likely to depend on their spouses.
Many scientific reproductive methods also make women to wait until the last minute to have a baby. Unlike men, women have a biological clock that stops ticking when the time is reached. That does not stop them to have a baby at their later age. A tube-baby, artificial insemination, and In vitro fertilization make it possible for women to have babies at any age. The only thing they need is to freeze their eggs to utilize it later.
Some women choose to not have a baby. They have so many answers why they choose to live that way. Some say they cannot afford to raise a child; some say they do not want to have extra inconveniences _ mid-night get-up, changing diapers, and feeding a baby in the middle of the night; some say they do not want to loose their privacy; some say they do not want to bring back the old memories they have when they have been raised by their parents; and some say they want to simply focus on their carrier. In this case, there is a question which can be raised. Can women have it all? The answer is yes, we can. There are many successful women who are excelling in both carriers and motherhood. Hillary Rodham Clinton is one of them. Please do not forget that she was even criticized for having one child only.
One category I would like to include in this is those women who cannot procreate. We cannot assume someone who does not a baby as a selfish woman. They have to live the way the God has created it even if they want to have the child of their own.
The most important thing we all have to remember is we have kids because of our “WANTS,” not because of our “NEEDS.” We want our own kids to nurture them, to give them the lives they deserve, and to help them grow to reach their potential. We should not need a child to save a marriage or a relationship. If we are having kids for that particular reason, we are making their lives miserable.
To have a child or to not have a child is the fundamental right of women. The women have a right to decide for their own bodies and wombs. It is up to them to decide whether they choose to have a baby or they choose to not have a baby, whether they have a baby at a later age or they have a baby at an early age, and whether they give birth to a child or they give birth to more than one child. What matters the most to me is that we should all learn how to respect other’s decision.
Thank you for letting me share my view on this issue.
Dear Yin Myo Kaung,
I am so glad to receive your candid comments on this issue. Sure, I cannot agree more. Writing this post, I would also like to draw people’s attention that this is a woman’s own choice and right “to want” or “not to want” kids. The rationales might also include a mix of self-centered views and certain amount of kind feelings. Of course, there is a role of the partner in making the decision and attempting too.
Talking about “needs”, maybe it is the “need” of the overall society to grow the new generation. And even if it is regarded as a responsibility, it should be collective. The society’s opinions and expectations should not lie on women’s shoulders alone.
Some assume that it’s just natural for women to want kids. While it is not wrong, I think, especially in this modern world, things are more challenging and complicated. Individuals are in need of more space and women are not the exception. Hence, having or not having kids becomes a deliberate and conscious decision for some women.
In fact, I wanted to add on - “my reasons DO NOT include (1) because I want to save marriage (2) because my parents/hubby/in-laws urge me (3) because of peer pressure (4) because this is a woman’s responsibility , etc.” But I took them away as some might interpret them offending.
In any case, definitely we all need to respect different decisions made by individual women based on their different thinking and conditions.
Best,
Pandora
Some more..
I am also aware that it’s a sensitive issue for those who want kids but cannot get one. But here in my post, the point is just “the reasons for wanting and not wanting”. It’s not “the reasons for having and not having”. I had hard time spending several years with consecutive failures. Wanting is just wanting. Trying is trying. Having is another story.
For some, it might be financial or social reasons that associate with their not wanting/trying/having kids. Perhaps they just cannot afford their time and money on it. Maybe they have other priorities. Those who try and cannot get it can still be happy with their best attempts and then move on. Nothing is the end of the world. Many people can lead a happy life without kids.
Best,
Pandora
Misspelling correction
Please read "career" instead of "carrier" in my comment.
Sorry for misspelling.
Dear Pandora,
I am glad to see your response. The main reason why I wrote the comment was to defend those women who were not able to procreate and who did not have children for some reasons. I have love and respect to all mothers on the earth including my mum whom I love so dearly. I am hugely indebted to the sacrifices, time, energy, and devotion she put to raise me to become who I am today. There is no doubt that I will ever pay back all the things she has done to me.
I also understand that pregnancy is a beautiful thing and motherhood is a blessing. However, there are some women who are not lucky enough to experience motherhood. They may be sitting in the dark quietly and longing for babies they cannot have or they do not have. One of the bloggers who openly writes about her infertility is Ma Khin Oo May from Singapore. Every time I get to read her posts, I feel so sorry for her. If you take all of your good ten reasons to ask those women whether they have what it takes, I wonder what their answers will be. Even in my imagination, it will be indescribable pain for them. The only thing I would like to ask from you is love, kindness, and respect for those who cannot/ do not have babies of their own.
I assume that you are now in the process of becoming a mother. I respectfully congratulate you for your motherhood and wish you all the best. I look forward to reading some stories about a mommy and her child.
I hope that the discussion between you and I helps some women realize their rights, especially in Myanmar where women’s rights have not been informed and exercised properly. I am also glad to speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves.
(P.S. I emailed you once when you were here in the U.S. and I, somehow, lost contact with you. I inquired you about a poem book written by various female poets including yourself. The book is still on my to-buy list when I have a chance to visit Myanmar.)
Regards,
Yin Myo Kaung
I believed that my post was more factual, did not have sentimental tone and I thought I had my right to express my opinions. But I think the problem lies on “tagging” and wanting to know from others. But frankly, I had also got difficult time to ponder whether leaving some people out from tagging can even make them feel worse. Hence, I just tagged all at large. It has been long since I socialized in blogosphere and it seems my intention to re-socialize with people turns out to be contrary. Anyway, I will be more mindful in future. Thanks for your points. Just hope that people do not see me as an evil person without love, kindness, and respect for those who cannot/ do not have babies of their own.
Now I have deleted my lines about tagging.
“Stories about a mommy and her child”? I have to think twice now. In fact the 10 reasons post is just an initial step/intro to motivate those particular people who failed in their initial attempts but still have time/chances to try more. But some may not even bear with hearing (the hard journey of) a success story and I have to take it into consideration.
I have got to be away from online activities for a month or more from now on. My clock is ticking. I won’t be able to reply to the messages on blog and facebook. I may check emails occasionally. Feel free to write to poetpandora@gmail.com. Ya, now I remember that you wrote to me once.
All the best,
Pandora
I admire
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